too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
