At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
