your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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