shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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