At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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