Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We're too hungover to prance.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
