Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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