I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
