Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
