we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
