some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
