is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
