I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
