Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Randomize
