TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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