remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
