apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
