when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
