The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
