When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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