What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
