please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
