apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
