no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
