No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
