Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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