just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
this boner is exhausting
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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