My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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