drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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