im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
