Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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