I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
