Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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