if i can run in heels then i can drive
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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