I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
