so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
