Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he thought i was a dude.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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