So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
