if i can run in heels then i can drive
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
