Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We have started to decorate penises.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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