The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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