i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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