Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
