Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
