Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
