I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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