Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
