we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
