she smelled like a LAN party
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
