I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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